Tuesday, February 15, 2011

It's never too late: theme of today

I felt guilty about not getting my mom something for Valentine's, so I asked Stu if he did anything for his mom. He said no, but then asked if he should have. I wasn't sure what to say to him. Based on my situation and family history, him and I aren't even comparable. He wasn't raised in an all girls's household, so I doubt he ever became accustomed to doing things for his mom for every holiday. But Danielle and I have been well trained. No matter what the holiday, we do something for our mom and she reciprocates.

These past few months (Thanksgiving, Christmas, Joe's birthday, Valentine's day, NYE...) I've been lazy. I don't excuse laziness, but it might be due to lack of sleep, stress, and anxiety I've been faced with. But an excuse is an excuse and my mom looks forward to every holiday, and I should be doing my best to make each one memorable for her. She means the world to me, and my sister and I mean the world to her. So rather than going with my gut instinct and buying her flowers, I didn't. Danielle quickly reminded me that mom hated getting flowers; I hesitated. She thought they were a waste of money and die off anyway.

Although she fed that line to us, that was not her only reason to dissociate herself from flowers... Any time a boyfriend of hers, or even my dad, did something wrong and felt guilty about it, they bought her flowers. Knowing that, I hate myself for not buying her the flowers. Getting flowers from me would have repaired the meaning of the Valentine's to her. It's a holiday that celebrates love, not hate or grief or sadness.
I needed to make things right because my first mistake was avoiding her on my brother's birthday. She sat in her room depressed all day long on this day before Valentine's. I had to go into work and I could not bear to see her grieving. Still, I should have taken the time to do something special for her.

So in attempt to make it up to the greatest mom in the world, I decided that Danielle and I are going to do something extremely special for her tomorrow! :) We plan on going directly to the stores after class and  surprise her at work with chocolates, flowers, and balloons. She deserves the attention! I hope she's happy because I truly believe it's never too late for anything!

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